


Perfect Isn't Real and It Never Will Be

by TurquoiseWAR



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: (the suicide attempt will be later on, Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jeremy Regrets Everything, M/M, Michael Is So Done, Regret, So much angst, With Jeremy's Crap, don't worry)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 18:11:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11362878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurquoiseWAR/pseuds/TurquoiseWAR
Summary: Having a Squip was notably the worst and best thing that happened to him. The best being, that he's more chill now and can talk to his lover with ease. The worst being, that he lost the one person he cared about most and dealt with continuous emotional and physical pain. God, did it all hurt..





	Perfect Isn't Real and It Never Will Be

**Author's Note:**

> (Disclaimer: This may be a Jeremy-centric story, though characters like JD and Michael will be the main focus at times as well. Also, this story was inspired by the “Red and Blue” fanfic created by Third_Eye. It's a great fanfiction and I enjoy the pairing! Anyways, that's it for now and I hope you enjoy the writing/fanfic!)

_'What a surprise,'_ Jeremy couldn't help but think to himself. Here he was, sitting at a white, plastic table as he waited for Christine to sit by him. Having a Squip was notably the worst and best thing that happened to him. The best being, that he's more chill now and can talk to his lover with ease. The worst being, that he lost the one person he cared about most and dealt with continuous emotional and physical pain. God, did it all hurt.. For once, though, the Squip was shut off. It had been _months_ , since it actually turned off. Now, he could look at Michael without earning a harsh comment. Unfortunately, someone could make up for the computer's absence. Jason Dean.  
   Jere didn't understand why this guy hated him so much. He hadn't done _anything_ to him! So, why did he deserve that look?! _Because you hurt the one person you loved most.._ An almost silent voice in his head spoke, only causing his stomach to tie into knots. Snapping out of his thoughts, his blue eyes widened when he realized he had been staring. JD's dark-brown eyes remained to be narrowed in hatred, as his even darker-brown bangs framed his orbs. The man now sat a table with his Player 2, who now glanced at him. Those beautiful, brown eyes were full of pain and something else he couldn't quite name. His brown, curly locks seemed to stick up more than usual, and if he were next to him, he'd ruffle them gently. Or, better yet, he'd run his fingers through it.. Those thoughts made him automatically stop what he was doing. Turning his head swiftly, a deep feeling of regret settled into his gut.  
   He's the cause of all of this, the reason Michael can only look at him in such agony and that he'll never get him back, no matter how hard he tries.. He's lost him and he can't get him back. That's not the only that makes him feel horrible. Oh, no. He harbors no feelings for Christine, it was only a small crush that died long ago. She deserved better than him, a gorgeous person who could truly love her. All of this felt like a ruse. A stupid trick that no one has realized yet, besides him, and all he can do is hang on for the ride. Without him realizing, tears brimmed his eyes as his lower lip quivered slightly. His arms wrapped around himself as his mind continued to go in a downwards spiral of depression. In all honesty, everyone would be happier without him. They'd never have to worry about a dumb kid like him, who was nothing more than broken. A fractured shell of a young man he used to be.  
   Despite his clearly absorbed mind, Jeremy could feel the stares of other students on him. Without his Squip, all of the shattered pieces of himself were out in the open, just waiting for attention. For a person to obliterate even more. Even through the smokes and mirrors he displayed, an observant being could gaze right through it. Looking at the damaged human being, who screeched out for someone to hear him. A sense of fear and guilt laid heavy inside of him, liquid trailed down his cheeks in the process. Clutching at himself, the light-brown haired male abruptly stood up and stormed to the bathroom. No longer able to handle the gut-crushing feeling. Voices could be heard behind him, but he didn't care. Instead, the male blocked them out, like the computer-chip's Optic Nerve blocking. Little did he know, a certain red slushee lover caught him storming off.


End file.
